Ham It Up Pt. 1
Spider-Man: Hey, I'm Peter Parker...
Spider-Ham: I'm Peter Porker, but everybody calls me Spider-Ham!
Spider-Man: That's gonna make it really hard to maintain my secret identity...
Spider-Ham: Don't worry. I'll use my web slinging abilities to help clear Spider-Man's name!
Spider-Man: I have honestly never been so excited to see something in my entire life...
Spider-Ham Defy the Laws of Hamity! 4h
Spider-Man: That was amazing!
Spider-Ham: Thanks! I used to be really clumsy, but I've found that talking all the time while I'm doing my thing calms me down, and makes it easier.
Spider-Man: I always talk all the time! Usually because I'm nervous, but sometime I think I'm funny, but it's usually kinda corny, but it makes the bad guys distracted, and...but I'm not Spider-Man, and I don't fight bad guys, and I'm just a normal guy, and I should stop talking, but I can't, so you should stop me because--
Spider-Ham: Just be yourself, Peter Parker.
Spider-Man: You're the wisest anthropomorphic pig I've ever met...
Reward: 20 Oscoins
Ham It Up Pt. 2
Spider-Ham starts
Nick Fury: It's great to have you at Avengers Academy, but I'm gonna need to evaluate your fighting skills to see where you're at.
Spider-Ham: I knew you'd say that. In my world, you're Nick Furry, Agent of S.H.E.E.P.
Nick Fury: In this world, you're just another wannabe Avenger who needs to show me why he deserves to stay at my school.
Spider-Ham: You're less intimidating when you look like a teddy bear...
Nick Fury: I'm gonna tell Nick Furry you said that.
Spider-Ham Go Ham! 4h
Iron Man Fire Repulsors, 15m
Wasp Have a Blast! 2m
Wasp: Nice fighting, Spider-Ham!
Spider-Ham: Thanks! I wanna show everyone why I belong...
Wasp: Just be yourself! You're totally awesome just the way you are!
Spider-Ham: Can we be friends?
Wasp: For sure!
Spider-Ham: Can we be more than friends?
Reward: 20 Oscoins
Ham It Up Pt. 3
Spider-Ham starts
Spider-Ham: I'm sorry if I made it weird by sort of asking you out...
Wasp: Yeah. I'm just not interested. Sorry...
Spider-Ham: Is it because I'm a pig?
Wasp: Yeah. It's pretty much because you're a pig...
Spider-Ham: It's okay. I had to at least try to get a date with the coolest, prettiest girl here...
Wasp: I'm gonna give you such a big friend hug right now!
Upgrade Spider-Ham! 14 x Ham Tracers (Special Event Missions), 14 x ?, 1698 Oscoins
Spider-Ham Give it a Whirl! 4h, requires Wasp
Spider-Ham Banter Battle! 1h
Spider-Ham: This has been the best day. I made a new friend, got a kiss on the cheek, and got to banter it up with J.A.R.V.I.S.! He's really good at pig puns...
Wasp: What should we do now?
Spider-Ham: It's time for this pig to punch some bad guys...
Reward: 20 Oscoins
The Hero We Deserve Pt. 1
Spider-Ham starts
Spider-Ham: Everybody says you're the best spy here, so I was hoping you'd help me clear Spider-Man's name by searching the campus for clues to whatever Oscorp is planning.
Black Widow: Sure, I've been looking into them since they got here. Let's compare intel when I get something solid.
Spider-Ham: You're not weirded out by me being a pig?
Black Widow: I've been here for months. My tolerance for weird is really high at this point...
Spider-Ham Defy the Laws of Hamity, 4h
Black Widow Search for Clues, 1m
J. Jonah Jameson: What were you doing on my building?!
Spider-Ham: Washing the windows?
J. Jonah Jameson: Don't expect to get paid for it.
Reward: 20 Oscoins
The Hero We Deserve Pt. 2
Spider-Ham starts
Black Widow: Looks like portals are just one of the things Oscorp is working on. I'm guessing that they found something in one of them that they're trying to exploit.
Spider-Ham: Yeah. I got a view from above, and there's definitely something bigger going on behind the scenes...
Black Widow: You okay? You're usually just as smily as Wasp and the other Peter...
Spider-Ham: I'm fine. Homesick maybe...
Black Widow: Do you want to talk about it?
Spider-Ham: No, but thanks. I just need to be alone for a little bit. Figure out my next move...
Upgrade Spider-Ham! 12 x Vegetarian Hoagies (Special Event Missions), 20 x Ham-Cams (Special Event Missions), 1812 Oscoins
Spider-Ham Find Where You Fit In, 4h
Black Widow Hack the System, 2m
Loki: Hello, Peter Porker.
Spider-Ham: How'd you know my name?
Loki: That's actually your real name?!
Spider-Ham: What do you want?
Loki: I wanted to warn you to avoid my father. I can hear his massive stomach grumbling from here...
Spider-Ham: Great. Thanks.
Loki: Spend some time with me, Peter Porker. The last thing this Academy needs is another mopey swine...
Reward: 20 Oscoins
Great Responsibility Pt. 1
Spider-Ham starts
Loki: Everyone needs to have fun, Peter Porker. From cunning, powerful, exquisite gods like myself, to whatever you are.
Spider-Ham: I just wanna help clear Spider-Man's name, and be the best hero I can be.
Loki: Mischief and mirth make us stronger. Ask anyone here. I have the most fun, but I've saved this Academy more times than you could count on your stubby little pig fingers.
Spider-Ham: That's funny because everybody says you usually just whine and make a fool out of yourself on the dance floor...
Loki: My dancing is immaculate!
Spider-Ham Go Ham! 4h
Loki Master the Dance Floor, 2h
Spider-Ham Defy the Laws of Hamity! 4h
Spider-Ham: Thanks, Loki. I feel a lot better after relaxing and having fun.
Loki: You're welcome. Follow me, my swine disciple, our journey has just begun...
Spider-Ham: Yeah, I don't think so.
Loki: What do you mean?
Spider-Ham: I'm not like you, and I'm definitely not anyone's sidekick. I'm a hero, and it's about time I proved it...
Reward: 20 Oscoins
Great Responsibility Pt. 2
Spider-Ham starts
Falcon: I was gonna warn you about hanging out with Loki, but it looks like you figured it out for yourself.
Spider-Ham: He's not that bad. He is a really bad dancer though...
Falcon: I like to get my groove on too, so I try not to judge...
Spider-Ham: I wanna check out some of the crimes Spider-Man's being blamed for. Can you fly around campus, and see if you find any clues to what Oscorp is up to?
Falcon: For sure, but be careful. New York makes this place look like a picnic.
Spider-Ham: ...
Falcon: I swear that wasn't a hot dog joke.
Upgrade Spider-Ham! 28 x Ham Tracers (Special Event Missions), 26 x Earth-8311 Brochures (Special Event Missions), 2291 Oscoins
Spider-Ham Take Great Responsibility, 2h
Falcon Blast Off! 1m
Falcon: What happened?
Spider-Man: I found more Oscorp portals. One of them led to my world, and things are really bad. I have to get back home to Larval Earth. And I need you to come with me...
Reward: 20 Oscoins
Spectacular Spider-Ham! Pt. 1
Spider-Ham starts
Spider-Ham: The Swinester Six have been trashing Larval Earth ever since I left. I need a team of heroes to help me save the day...
Wasp: My squishy little hero! I'm totally giving you a kiss for good luck!
Falcon: You know I got your back, Spider-Ham.
Spider-Man: Of course I'll help, but I'm kind of nervous about how I'll act around a bunch of animal people. I ramble when I'm uncomfortable. Do we talk about how they're animals? Is it okay to stare? I shouldn't stare. Just punch me if I stare too much...
Cosmo the Spacedog: Cosmo is likink this secret mission.
Iron Man: I can't wait to see what's in Iron Mouse's cheese fridge!
Loki: This sounds far too amusing to refuse...
British Bulldog: Woof! Woof!
Rocket Raccoon: I guess. Not like I'm doing anything anyways...
Spider-Ham: Let's get ready to fight. It's Spider-Ham time...
Spider-Ham Go Ham! 4h
Iron Man Fire Repulsors, 15m
Spider-Ham Give it a Whirl, 4h, requires Wasp
Falcon: You think we're ready?
Spider-Ham: We were born ready.
Falcon: You're the coolest dude I know!
Reward: 20 Credits
Spectacular Spider-Ham! Pt. 2
Spider-Ham starts
Union Jack: The portal should be ready, mate. Agent 13 and I shut down S.H.I.E.L.D. H.Q.'s security, but you'll have to hurry.
Spider-Ham: Thanks, Union Jack. Larval Earth won't forget this...
Union Jack: Take this secret gadget. It looks like an ice cream cone, but it transforms into a personal helicopter.
Spider-Ham: Why do you think I'll need that?
Union Jack: You probably won't, but it's still pretty cool...
Upgrade Spider-Ham! 24 x Vegetarian Hoagies (Special Event Missions), 32 x Ham-Cams (Special Event Missions), 2510 Oscoins
Spider-Ham Recruit Warriors of the Great Web, 8h
Spider-Ham Access Earth-8311! 3h, requires Loki
Spider-Ham: Thanks for all your help, Spider-Man. I'm sorry I couldn't do more to help you clear your name...
Spider-Man: No problem. It was worth it just to see the Swinester Six. I'll be set on banter material against my own bad guys for a year at least.
Spider-Ham: You ever think it's weird that there are so many universes out there where things are so different, but so close to being the same?
Spider-Man: Yeah. I think it's probably the weirdest thing about anything ever.
Spider-Ham: I was thinking the same thing...
Reward: 20 Credits
What do you think of Spider-Ham? Did you buy him? Any favourite actions or phrases?
Kou.
Spider-Ham's Actions
Go Ham! 4h, The Robo Dojo
Defy the Laws of Hamity! 4h, The Daily Bugle
Give it a Whirl, 4h, The Daily Bugle
Banter Battle! - Rank 2
Find Where You Fit In - Rank 3
Recruit Warriors of the Great Web - Rank 5
Take Great Responsibility - Rank 4
Spider-Ham's Phrases
What's a BLT?
One pig knuckle sandwich coming up!
Let's eat!
I can do anything a Spider-Ham can!
You act like you've never seen a pig with spider powers.
Oink oink, losers!
It's your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Ham.
I'm the sporktacular Spider-Ham.
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